theleela's Blog

So many things are going through my mind right now, and I just can't seem to keep my eyes closed. Thinking about how I'm gonna spend this next year, and what I should be doing now, and how fast it's gonna go by, and thinking farther into the future... It's a massive train of thought.

"Take Better Care Of Your Property"
My dogs, my babies, have been getting a bit neglected lately, not enough pets, and belly rubs, and slacking on the 'clean up' in the yard. Going out to play late in the day, so it's too dark to do much. Well.... I learned my lesson today, and a few weeks ago. Never neglect your business, your property, because it will come back to bite you.

All of the years we've spent,
through the good times and bad,
I've made my share of mistakes
and you've made me plenty mad
But do I really deserve,
so much heartache and pain
a never-ending cycle
Is it all in vain?
I've searched high and low,
for a way to elude you
a shot, a patch, a pill
not knowing if they'll do.
Do you ever notice
how much you rock my world?

EP Link

I made this concoction of whatever seasonings I had in my pantry, and I came up with a nice base for a mix of other seasonings, and it contains the most common spices ever:

Paprika - Tbsp
Cayenne Pepper - Tspn
Chili Powder - 2 Tspns

That's it. You have to add salt, and onion powder, crushed black pepper and/or garlic powder in any ratio you want, but the trilogy stays the same. Just wish I had some tomato powder, but it's very very hard to find.

1. Never bring the laptop to bed, I am missing sleep. And my neck is killing me.
2. NEVER go back to sleep after the alarm goes off. EVER.
3. Never get up at midnight, to eat a garlic hotdog with fresh onion, and spicy mustard -_-
4. Accept that I will never get along with 95% of the female population, no matter how hard I try.
5. Never EVER straighten one half of your head, then the other half the next day. It won't work.

*to be continued.
*Continuing!!! Jan 16, 2012
6. Never ever bring kitkat's into my house. Ever.

So this is what I decided on so far, but I can't get into alot of classes until I pass this thing in the morning, so:
Monday:
Bio: 9:30am-10:45am
Speech: 11:00am- 12:15pm
Tuesday:
History: 12:30pm-1:45pm
(and other stuff after 2morrow)
Wednesday:
Speech: 11:00am-12:15pm
BioLab: 12:30pm- 2:10pm
Thursday:
History: 12:30pm-1:45pm
(+)

And 2 more classes online only, probably Psychology and English Comp. 1 (Even though..... I think my linguistics are very thorough already, lol) :)
I didn't wanna drive out there on tuesdays and thursdays, but I wouldn't be able to graduate in two years without being full time, so..... I'll bite the bullet, I guess.

Every since I was a CHILD, 7-8 years old, I've seen this man running every morning, on my way to school. And he was old back then. This very morning, 13 years later, that old man is still going strong. I mean, he has to be at least 90+, and he JOGS, literally JOGS, every morning and evening, he's incredible. At 20, I don't think I have the drive he does to stay fit and active, and he's an old bag of bones..... I supposed to be young and fresh, and energized for days, but it's just not like that, lol.

But about this man, he is truly a superman in my eyes. I can only wish I'll be half as strong at his age. I can only hope I reach his age! lol

How AWESOME is that? :D

I went to the campus, and I was completely lost, it is HUGE, there are like 15 buildings covering 2 blocks or more. So I drive up to this guy and ask him where the science building is, and he says it's right where I am, so I park and go in.

I take three steps into this building, and some guy comes out of nowhere asking if I want to join some club... I tell him no, and keep going. But I then I think about it, and asked him for directions.
He was a very geeky guy, and super-nice too. He walked me around all the way to the correct office and told me exactly where to go, and we talked while we were en route. I asked him about his club or group he was advertising, and he was explaining (not really effectively, caused he just joined himself) what it's about. I entertained the thought, but I was really focused on my task at hand, so I wouldn't get distracted.

But after I got done with all my info and instructions, I looked for the guy, but he was gone :( I wanted to thank him for being my "on the spot" guidance guy, when he really didn't have to help me. But alas, I WILL find him again, and thank him properly some time soon.

"The essential message of Bahá’u’lláh is that of unity. He taught that there is only one God, that there is only one human race, and that all the world’s religions represent stages in the revelation of God’s will and purpose for humanity. In this day, Bahá’u’lláh said, humanity has collectively come of age. As foretold in all of the world’s scriptures, the time has arrived for the uniting of all peoples into a peaceful and integrated global society. “The earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens,” He wrote."


About the guy who initiated this faith:

The Faith’s Founder was Bahá’u’lláh, a Persian nobleman from Tehran who, in the mid-nineteenth century, left a life of princely comfort and security and, in the face of intense persecution and deprivation, brought to humanity a stirring new message of peace and unity.

Bahá’u’lláh claimed to be nothing less than a new and independent Messenger from God. His life, work, and influence parallel that of Abraham, Krishna, Moses, Zoroaster, Buddha, Christ, and Muhammad. Bahá’ís view Bahá’u’lláh as the most recent in this succession of divine Messengers.

More Info:
It takes a distinctive approach to contemporary social problems. The Faith’s scriptures and the multifarious activities of its membership address virtually every important trend in the world today, from new thinking about cultural diversity and environmental conservation to the decentralization of decision making; from a renewed commitment to family life and moral values to the call for social and economic justice in a world that is rapidly becoming a global neighborhood. 

In the years since Bahá’u’lláh lived, the process of global unification for which He called has become well-advanced. Through historical processes, the traditional barriers of race, class, creed, and nation have steadily broken down. The forces at work, Bahá’u’lláh predicted, will eventually give birth to a universal civilization. The principal challenge facing the peoples of the earth is to accept the fact of their oneness and assist in the creation of this new world.

For a global society to flourish, Bahá’u’lláh said, it must be based on certain fundamental principles. They include the elimination of all forms of prejudice; full equality between the sexes; recognition of the essential oneness of the world’s great religions; the elimination of extremes of poverty and wealth; universal education; the harmony of science and religion; a sustainable balance between nature and technology; and the establishment of a world federal system, based on collective security and the oneness of humanity.

Bahá’ís around the world express their commitment to these principles chiefly through individual and community transformation, including the large number of small-scale, grassroots-based social and economic development projects that Bahá’í communities have launched in recent years.

In building a unified network of local, national, and international governing councils, Bahá’u’lláh’s followers have created a far-flung and diverse worldwide community — marked by a distinctive pattern of life and activity — which offers an encouraging model of cooperation, harmony, and social action. In a world so divided in its loyalties, this is in itself a singular achievement.

So.... If a Persian guy from the 1800's knew this is what needed to happen LOOOONG before any of us were born.... Why can't we grasp it now?

1 mile equals 1.6 kilometers
1kilometer equals .6 miles

Pretty Simple! :)
So, you'd need to multiply miles by .6 to get kilometers, and multiply kilometers by 1.6 to get miles. Check!

Yep. And I've been that way for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. It's exhausting. 
I'm starting to think, "Is this the reason why, I've always chosen 1 or 2 people as my cut-off point?" Because that's the maximum amount of people I can give 100% too. Anymore people than that, and it's a tax on me, I can't be spread that thin. So subconsciously, I believe if I let someone down, If I can't share 100% of my time and resources with another person, that's the equivalent of NEGLECT in my book. *sigh of relief...* And this is not okay. I do it everytime, I put other people's agenda and their feelings so high on my to-do list, my own wants and needs fall off the map. I end up forgetting what I set out to do in the first place, and once again, I'm LOST. And what's worse, is that I don't mind if people tell me no, can't do this, won't do that, I take it in stride, but I won't give myself the same damn privileges, when ^^^^^^that should easily be reciprocated... you know?



Another mark on my "Working On It" list. =|

I keep grabbing my keys like everything's fine, but by the time I get to the door...... :( I realize my car's screwed all over again.

If you go out into the woods, or Antarctica in the wilderness, why are these peeps on this show, acting surprised that a freakin BEAR would go after them? They're like, "OMG! Why did that bear follow me??!? What did it want?! What's wrong with the bear????"...... Really? Really Really? What's wrong with YOU? That's what a bear is supposed to do, track stuff down that's roamin' in the woods. Duh.

And the polar bear, you must be some kind of genius to go out there without a gun, a BIG gun. Because a regular firearm just won't do when a 3,000lb mound of muscle comes charging at you. You don't need to ponder the reasons why they do it, it's a BEAR!!!!

All of these come from a book I bought a few years ago, and it really helped me become a better person for myself, and others around me, especially at a very difficult time in my life.

"...we have to keep pressing forward, stretching ourselves. Get rid of low expectations. Don't make little plans for your life. Don't have little dreams. Don't go around thinking, 'Everybody gets good breaks except me. I've reached my limits. I'll probably never get this promotion. I don't know why I'm not as talented as that other person...' NO, get rid of that mind-set."

" The events of your past do not reduce your potential. How somebody has treated you or what he or she said about you doesn't change your potential. Maybe you've been through some disappointments, or have had some unfair things happen in life. None of that effects your potential."

"Too often, we allow experiences from the past to keep us from pressing forward. Perhaps a business partner, a coach, a parent, a relative, or a friend said, ' Do you really think you can do that?, Maybe that opportunity is not right for you.., What if you try and fail?, What if it doesn't work out?, You don't have what it takes.., You're not very talented.., I don't think you'll ever be successful..' Many people have had negative comments spoken over them, and if we're not careful, we'll allow those negative words to play over and over in our minds. They can create a stronghold against us. You must cast those words down. Words are powerful. They can create barriers in your heart and mind. Sometimes one little phrase can hold us back for years..."

"Too many people don't have the confidence and self-esteem they should because they're constantly dwelling on negative thoughts about themselves. I don't say this arrogantly, but in my mind, all day long I try to remind myself: I am creative. I am talented. I am successful. I have favor. People like me. I am a victor, and not a victim... If you go around thinking those kinds of thoughts, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, or inferiority won't have a chance within you."

"Who told you that you don't have what it takes to succeed? Who told you that you are not attractive enough to succeed in your personal relationships or talented enough to flourish in your career? Who told you that you aren't good enough to thrive? Those are lies from the enemy. You need to reject those ideas."

"Some people are always looking back, focused on their hurts and pains. Other people are always looking down, living in self-pity, and complaining that life is not fair. The key to rising higher is to keep looking to where you want to go. Don't focus on where you are today; keep a positive vision and see yourself accomplishing your goals and fulfilling your destiny."


And this is just from the first few pages... I'll come back and list more later, I've got to go prepare some fourth of july grub :)

I worked at this place two jobs ago, actually. And I bring this up because something has been on my mind today:
Shyness
Introversion
Perception
Rudeness

Now, those subjects probably sound like I'm about to moan about this job, right? Wrong. I was never happier when I was working there. There was a common connection between the workers (ALL of us), the managers, and the head manager. It was tranquil there, I loved it.
You didn't have to speak and do a generic greeting when you came in, you didn't have gossipers who snickered at you when your back is turned, we laughed and had fun. Everybody knew that everybody was liked and wanted to be there. There were NO BACKSTABBERS.
Fast forward to my most recent gig.... I have never worked in a place with SO. MUCH. FAKENESS. It was sickening. It made me wonder if their personal lives, are SO HORRIBLE, that they bring a bitterness, a cattiness, and roguish characteristics to the workplace. I Was Right.
First Boss A: She was 19, lived with her boyfriend and his THREE kids, along with her son, so that's four kids between them. He can't keep a job, so she supports everyone at that tender age. Last time I saw her, her bf was in jail, she was begging people for bail money, and I think she was pregnant again.... Good luck with all that, sweetheart.
Second Boss B: She was conniving and vindictive from the beginning. You could tell she grew up with that kind of attitude, it was ingrained within her. Before I left, she got transferred to another store, farther away, without steady transportation, and her husband hasn't had a job in years, because of a felony..... he's been turned down by several companies, despite being qualified..... Good luck with that.
Third Boss C: The main manager. MUCH too shifty for my tastes. If I have to suck up to a man who's friend in your face, and enemy behind your back, I'd rather be left alone, or quit. And I did. Not to mention being pompous and arrogant over a dead-end job in the first place.
Fourth Boss D: The most insecure of the bunch, she was like a trip-wire when it came to her son. I tried to relate to her (and the rest of them), but what I said usually offended them. It went like this:
Boss D: I gotta go pick up my son, so I have to leave early, and Boss C is gonna be pissed...
My response: Can you call the dad, or family to go pick him up?
*The trip-wire went off* I wasn't trying to offend her, I was just asking a question...
Last Boss E: She started as a regular employee, but asked for a managerial position (THAT'S HOW EASY IT WAS TO DO THIS BULLSH*T JOB) so they gave it to her. By then, the first four managers and a few employees have spread the word that I"m "this, that, and the other" so she assumed the position of continuing the roguish behavior.... She hired her daughter, and before I ever had a full conversation with her (not that I wanted to, with any of them...), she continued the same behavior as her mom.... Last time I saw the daughter, she was having a fit in the middle of the store, saying Boss C doesn't like her... Whatever. Good luck with that attitude.
The Final Straw: My ex-boss (The big wig, over multiple stores) was given control over the current store I was employed at. After I saw his face, I knew right then and there that I was leaving.
But I wondered what happened to my previous "big wig" boss, who I got along great with? He got PROMOTED to a higher paying, much easier job, because he's a great guy, and a fair boss..... He only worked there for a couple of years before he got this promotion... my ex boss has been (and still is) working that horrible position for 12 years, without promotion, being run rampant, with only additional work, and no more pay. Good luck with that.
All I wanted to point out is that, if they would have came to me with a better outlook and disposition, I wouldn't have distanced myself from them so much. I don't want people like that in my circle, and I will NEVER change that fact. My life is much happier and positively influenced without that kind of toxic personality. I know who I want to include in my life, and it was none of them.

Aaaaaah :) That's better.

Today, is gonna be a kick back, hang out, easy-going kind of day. I'm going to rent a movie, or two, get some cookies, a slushie, and stretch out on my bed. :) That's the agenda for today.

:D
Somebody sent me EP tokens! That's so incredibly generous of them, I wish I knew who it was so I could thank them personally!!! And maybe talk to them for a while, get to know them :)

On the same network? I've got Royal Pains, Burn Notice, and now the premiere of Necessary Roughness has me by the tongue....  Not to mention White Collar every so often, to catch up. Even Covert Affairs is pretty decent, so I sneak a peek in when I can. And then Swamp People's finale is right around the corner, and futurama has new episodes every week, and I try to catch that if I can..... All of this, and I don't have Tivo :'(

I'm switching to another one, I'm getting a little bothered by the attention from strange people on here.

♪♫ Leeeet me go,
I don't wanna be your
hero
I don't wanna be your
victory
Just wanna fight like
everyone else..♪♫

Band: Family of the Year
Song: Hero

♪♫ Daaaance, the night away,
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
on the flooooor..♪♫

What the hell are celebrities gonna sing about when partying gets old?